Why Are We Failing Our Kids Through Abstinence Education?
Posted: Tuesday, February 10, 2009
by Avis Ward
GeoVi's Home for Pregnant Teens
Studies show abstinence doesn't work and abstinence pledges aren't enough. Should we rethink how we approach teenagers about sex? You bet!
One approach that would be most effective in communicating with teens is sharing the truth. Sounds too obvious to be stated, doesn't it? Credibility and trust are important in relationships. They should be brought to the table when communicating with teens. We should share information in an authoritative but not dictatorial demeanor. Not many people enjoy being told what to do unless they ask. Remembering teens are people too is beneficial to reaching them.
Sex is not a bad thing. Why attempt to convince a teenager that sex is bad? Perhaps we do not blatantly say it is bad but the innuendoes, information shared and our approach does. It is strongly felt this is why the studies on Abstinence education show we have failed in our desire to share with teens what we know is best for them. The decision is theirs to make but we must prepare them to make informed decisions about something that will have a lasting impact on their lives. Millions of dollars, countless man hours and years later, we are not very effective.
Through personal research, training and certification, it has been learned that whether the program is a faith-based curriculum or one meeting the requirements of the government for public schools, sharing the truth about relationships receives wider acceptance than using "scare-tactics with visual aids and boring statistics."
Kids need to hear that abstinence is one of the best ways to prepare for a healthy future marriage. What if they do not want to get married? The truth of that statement does not change. Teen abstinence was found to be a strong and significant predictor of academic success independent of other social variables. Teens who abstain will be subject to less emotional turmoil and fewer psychological distractions; this will enable them to better focus on schoolwork.
Teens who abstain are likely to have greater future orientation, greater impulse control, greater perseverance, greater resistance to peer pressure, and more respect for parental and societal values. These attributes are character-building. They will be better prepared to handle and safeguard not only their future, but our future.
Concerning relationships, we do not have to fail this generation of youth. Many communities offer free relationship education classes by trained professionals. Some programs are taught in school but they have specific and restricted guidelines as a governmental administrative body. A quality program will always involve an orientation for parents proceeded by interactive classes for teens.
For additional information about sponsoring a program in your community, contact this author.
Avis Ward of GeoVi's Home for Pregnant Teens
Sources:
Patient Teenagers? A Comparison of the Sexual Behavior of Virginity Pledgers and Matched Nonpledgers, Janet Elise Rosenbaum, PhD. PEDIATRICS Vol. 123 No. 1 January 2009, pp. e110-e120 (doi:10.1542/peds.2008-0407)
Impacts of Four Title V, Section 510 Abstinence Education Programs Final Report. Christopher Trenholm, Barbara Devaney, Ken Fortson, Lisa Quay, and Justin Wheeler. Mathematica Policy Research, Inc., April 2007.
Teenage Sexual Abstinence and Academic Achievement, Robert Rector and Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D., 2005.
One approach that would be most effective in communicating with teens is sharing the truth. Sounds too obvious to be stated, doesn't it? Credibility and trust are important in relationships. They should be brought to the table when communicating with teens. We should share information in an authoritative but not dictatorial demeanor. Not many people enjoy being told what to do unless they ask. Remembering teens are people too is beneficial to reaching them.
Through personal research, training and certification, it has been learned that whether the program is a faith-based curriculum or one meeting the requirements of the government for public schools, sharing the truth about relationships receives wider acceptance than using "scare-tactics with visual aids and boring statistics."
Kids need to hear that abstinence is one of the best ways to prepare for a healthy future marriage. What if they do not want to get married? The truth of that statement does not change. Teen abstinence was found to be a strong and significant predictor of academic success independent of other social variables. Teens who abstain will be subject to less emotional turmoil and fewer psychological distractions; this will enable them to better focus on schoolwork.
Teens who abstain are likely to have greater future orientation, greater impulse control, greater perseverance, greater resistance to peer pressure, and more respect for parental and societal values. These attributes are character-building. They will be better prepared to handle and safeguard not only their future, but our future.
Concerning relationships, we do not have to fail this generation of youth. Many communities offer free relationship education classes by trained professionals. Some programs are taught in school but they have specific and restricted guidelines as a governmental administrative body. A quality program will always involve an orientation for parents proceeded by interactive classes for teens.
For additional information about sponsoring a program in your community, contact this author.
Avis Ward of GeoVi's Home for Pregnant Teens
Sources:
Patient Teenagers? A Comparison of the Sexual Behavior of Virginity Pledgers and Matched Nonpledgers, Janet Elise Rosenbaum, PhD. PEDIATRICS Vol. 123 No. 1 January 2009, pp. e110-e120 (doi:10.1542/peds.2008-0407)
Impacts of Four Title V, Section 510 Abstinence Education Programs Final Report. Christopher Trenholm, Barbara Devaney, Ken Fortson, Lisa Quay, and Justin Wheeler. Mathematica Policy Research, Inc., April 2007.
Teenage Sexual Abstinence and Academic Achievement, Robert Rector and Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D., 2005.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Hi Avis. When you said you did not understand why I thanked you for all you do, this is what I had in mind. Your, wisdom as evidenced by this piece, is greatly needed. Young people have a friend in you. Again, Thank You!!Hi Ken,
Thank you from each chamber of my heart. I hope you're having a wonderful day!
So true. We’re failing our kids. But this didn’t just begin with our kids. Our generation was failed too. I had a whole different experience given the culture I was born and raised in, but I work with men and women in their 40s, 50s and even 60s still struggling with sex-related matters. No body talked to them or told them the truth about sex. And some of these people are parents.
I believe that abstinence would work if kids knew the truth about sex and made the choice to abstain based on truth. I know I waited just because I knew sex would be great when I got to it. It’s however, a huge task getting the truth out there when the truth is competing with a “sex sells” mentality. That’s why telling the truth about sex is so much more important now than ever. I am afraid the truth may get lost for many decades to come, if things are left the way they are.As usual, great article.Sadly Christine, but what you've said is true of our generation, too. Without having a true sense of self, they've bought into what the media and entertainment sells. It's all fiction but watching and hearing too much of it destroys true self. You work with this daily. They're fortunate to have you telling them the truth because you know it. Thank you as always. I missed you when you were away. Glad you're back! And Christine? I think you are sooooo cool! Your friend and sister, Avis.
Dear Avis, You speak from a perspective very close to teens, and I think that adds to your comments and opinions. Thank you for writing this. I think that when teens, especially girls/young women, truly believe that they can be part of developing their own future, enjoying what they enjoy and love along with hard work to get going and stay on track with it, they do want to guard those dreams even if at great temporary cost or delay to other desires. I agree with your opening remarks about sex being a good thing and not to hide that fact and to build in the waiting and anticipation, along with the other grown up things we wait for when young. I could go on and on, for this is such a vital subject. What you do to accept, love, and give of yourself to teens through your organization is priceless! I can picture that the work helps those babies and also their moms, who can plan a future that will be fulfilling to them. Words fail me, but thanks for writing this, dear Avis. God bless you.Dear Jane, thank you so very much. You've said so much in your comments that could be part of this article.
"I think that when teens, especially girls/young women, truly believe that they can be part of developing their own future, enjoying what they enjoy and love along with hard work to get going and stay on track with it, they do want to guard those dreams even if at great temporary cost or delay to other desires."
This is important for them to know but they are not hearing it in a language that they understand. They shut us out because we're telling them sex is bad for them.
We're still raising funds to move in a home but providing community services and increasing awareness about the Home. This outreach is a way to get the word out about it, solicit volunteers, raise funds and reach the middle school-age kids so that these females will not come to the home as a resident in the future.
Thank you, Jane. Please keep us in your prayers.
Your friend,
Avis
Avis, I absolutely agree and you said is so well! Thanks so much for this valuable article. May God Bless you and yours.Angie :-)Hi Angie. Thank you so very much for your support. It is encouraging to have agreement especially on a controversial matter. I appreciate you for reading and commenting on this article. *warm smile*
Blessings to you and yours,
Avis
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