On Sex and Lovemaking: A Cup of Common Ground?
Posted: Saturday, July 14, 2007
by Avis Ward
GeoVi's Home for Pregnant Teens
If we differ in our viewpoints, does it mean one of us is right and the other is wrong? I hope you’re thinking, most definitely not. If so, we are off to an excellent start. We’re in agreement, so far. I never like “splitting hairs" or friendly banter over semantics. Why, I’ve been known to say," we’ve basically agreed, let’s not quibble over semantics." Allow me to elaborate as I share an opinion with you.
Differentiating one’s self from another can be crucial, especially as a provider of services. The same holds true in one’s personal life, as well. If someone ostensibly misrepresents themselves, well, that’s a separate issue.
I feel there is a difference between sex and lovemaking. I, more or less, am the sum total of my environment and experiences. I was reared in a Christian home and have lived long enough to have frolicked through the tulips. Being therefore greatly influenced by these factors lends credence for placing differences between sex and lovemaking.
I define sex as a physical and temporary expression of lust, while lovemaking is an emotional and lasting expression of trust. In a marital relationship, I feel one can and should enjoy both. In marriage, the scriptures tell us the marriage bed is undefiled.
I am not ignorant to the ways of the world but I share from my perspective. Believing premarital sex is sinful supports my definition of sex and lovemaking. When I read or hear stories about couples having problems in their marriage which are related to intimacy, I strongly feel this differentiation is part of the reason. When a husband or wife says, “We never have sex anymore," or “We never make love anymore," I feel they are saying two different things with totally different meanings. Sex is transient. Lovemaking is as perennial as the grass. Which would you prefer in your marriage?
I have friends who would say, “Just as long as there is some activity going on, I don’t care which is present in my marriage!" Well, I get the point but as I’ve said, marriages can have both but if lovemaking isn’t part of the sexual intimacy, the marriage could be headed for trouble if not already experiencing trouble. I’ve used the word intimacy and feel intimacy involves far more than penetration.
It is my belief that lovemaking is sanctioned by God. When two people are joined together in Holy Matrimony, they become one. That is celestial arithmetic. Lovemaking involves spiritual intimacy. Two people becoming one in marriage and during lovemaking represent His Holy Presence in that union. If what someone merely wishes for is sex, the world offers many options for the physical and temporary expression of lust. It’s for sale and it’s free. It’s also meaningless.
Am I wrong? Am I right? It’s only one woman’s point of view. It’s what she believes. Let’s share a cup of common ground? Would you agree with me whether referred to as sex or lovemaking, there should be a deeper meaning than physical release? It is nice to have agreement. That has to be the reason the statement, “We can agree to disagree," is so popular.
© 2007 Avis Ward of GeoVi’s Home for New LifeThis Article has been viewed 436 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)hi avis, i think this was a wonderful article, and have pondered the same questions many times. i believe if my Higher Power sanctioned me to be with my soul mate, married or not, then i am making love when we are intimate. there have been others years ago, and they were sexual in nature, no love making. the only one i could ever make love to is my soul mate. thanks for a good article, i definitely think there's a difference. best regards, sue thomSue, thank you for your comments. It's lovely to know you've found your soul mate and you're happy together. I like that we agree there is a difference. In my experience, many females feel this way. (Some men as well.) I appreciate you for reading this article and sharing as you have. Always wishing the best for you, Sue. Take good care and enjoy the weekend. :)
Avis, you hit another home run. Today we are fixed on the exterior and not the things that mean something, building long term and caring relationships. Yes, it is the Easter Bunny and hollow all over again. Good job. Thats what makes you the writer you are, the simple truth."Robert, thank you for sharing the wisdom found in your comments. Also for the compliment about me as a writer. I thrive on encouragement!
Bravo, Avis and I couldn't agree with you more. I, for the most part, believe that many confuse 'sex' with love. Unlike myself, you have 'the gift' of eloquently getting your point across very well and as Robert mentioned in the above, that is what makes you the writer. Thanks for a great article!Judi, thank you. I also agree with you, "many confuse 'sex' with love." A pity. We're our worst critics. You too are an eloquent writer with special gifts. I happen to know that storytelling is one. You also know how to interject humour appropriately. Thinking of what "Marilyn" has said to me, you've found your voice. I'm still searching for mine. (Well, I do sing and I'm not bad either.) I desire to write better and your comments along with the others keep the fire under my feet ignited. Thank you for that.
Very good article and I think you have a chior behind you believing along with you. Thanks for sharing this.Anon, I'm please to hear your voice in the choir. Would that be the one coming from the baritone section? *smiling* Thank you for your support and comments. (I may have goofed. Soprano?!) All in good humor. Have a wonderful week!
Avis, well done, this is a well written and thoughtful article! While I don't share your religious beliefs I certainly agree with you about the differences between sex and lovemaking and the inclusion of both in a successful marriage. As such there's no need for us to quibble over the semantics of our belief systems but rather just agree on what we have in common. *smile*Ben, thank you very much for your favourable comments. I was prepared to have a go at you but you understood very well what I meant about common ground. *laughing* Just kidding. I have my beliefs and I won't force them on anyone else. I am satisfied being a positive influence. We won't quibble. :)
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