What does High Maintenance Really Mean?
Posted: Sunday, April 08, 2007
by Avis Ward
GeoVi's Home for Pregnant Teens
We hear this term "High Maintenance" quite frequently used as an adjective to describe Women. Men say, "She was/is high maintenance." What does it mean to you? Do you consider yourself HIGH Maintenance? Do you think being HIGH maintenance is wrong?
I am aware some women require more 'upkeep' than others but it's their choice and lifestyle. One woman may not care about makeup, manicures, pedicures, massages, highlights in her hair, fine jewelry, luxurious suites at their vacation destination, or being catered to and pampered. Another woman may seek out this treatment because it enables her to thrive and flourish. Would the latter type of woman be considered “High Maintenance?"
What I think is wrong is when a woman demands these things from someone when she isn't capable of providing them for herself. Or when she forces a man to go into debt just to maintain a facade, which isn't affordable for either of them. A man complying with such demands need to reassess his involvement with this type of woman and bid her farewell.
Read what a young man of 26, whom I’ll call Michael, thinks High Maintenance women are when he was asked the question.
“High maintenance women, from my personal definition means:
1. Needs lots of time
2. Needs lots of effort
3. Are very fussy and particular
4. Are difficult and troublesome
5. Are annoying
6. Have high expectations of her partner or date
7. Will be quick to reject a person if those expectations are not met
8. Hard to please, not easily impressed
9. Takes forever to get ready
10. Something all but the most patient and tolerant men should avoid like the plague."
And a gentleman of 68, whom I’ll call George, describes a High Maintenance woman as follows:
“High Maintenance includes many things. She selects a restaurant because of she's heard VIPs go there not because of great food and service. Another High Maintenance definition is she's very demanding with little consideration of what the guy enjoys so the time together becomes high maintenance (wasted). The rental car must be impressive and so many other things."
To be fair, here are two quotes from women who are 47 and 50 years of age, respectively:
“High maintenance here in Australia is really the term used to describe women being highly groomed which includes nail polish, good make up, classical/business clothes, etc. on a daily basis." —Jeni
“Funny, I thought getting your nails done and your hair done and looking nice and acting appropriately was just part of being a woman/girl. Since when did the maintaining the aspects of our sex become high maintenance?" —Cheryl
And finally, a 50 year old, whom I’ll call Sharon, made this contribution to the question.
1. If your purse holds more than 5 lbs of ESSENTIALS . . .
2. If you own more than 50 pairs of shoes . . .
3. If your make-up case is a double-decker toolbox from Sears . . .
4. If a small family could live in your closet . . .
5. If more than 3 items in your closet still have price tags . . .
6. If your jewelry box used to be a high-boy chest . . .
7. If you have more underwear than you can wear in 3 months . . .
8. If a weekend trip takes more than 1 piece of luggage . . .
9. If you spend more on hair products than groceries . . .
10. If your dry-cleaning bill is more than your car payment . . .
11. If you have a weekly Botox appointment . . .
12. If you're still making payments on your last plastic surgery . . .
You may be High Maintenance!
I am guilty of four of the twelve (#2, #5, #7 & #8); therefore, if Sharon is correct, I am High Maintenance! Pffft! I don’t think so! I, admittedly, require more 'attention' than I used to. I am older. I deserve it. I have earned it. I also give as good or greater than I get. I never want to feel obligated to anyone or for anyone to feel taken advantage of by me. If I am over-indulgent with myself, you can count on me being over-indulgent with you. I maintain myself. I'm blessed and highly favoured! Because I'm blessed— I must be a blessing.
Are you High Maintenance? The phrase is not restricted to describe only women. Men have been deemed and a few I know, as High Maintenance. I just think people have different requirements, likes and dislikes. I hope Michael and George aren’t entirely correct!
Copyright © 2007 Avis Ward of AWard Consulting, LLC
Thankfully I am a low maintenance girl but this was an interesting article for the paper I am writing. Thanks ~*Angel*No, Angel, thank you! I appreciate you for reading my article. I'm honoured it was interesting enough to help you with the article you're writing. I wish you well with that project. Have a great Mother's Day weekend! P.S. Today, I am low maintenance.
I don't think high maintenance has anything to do with how many pairs of shoes you have or how big your closet is every woman wants to look her best and the more things you have the better you can make yourself look. I think it has to do with emotional issues. I find high maintenance women are emotional cripples. It's like a car that needs constant maintaining. Emotionally crippled women need constant validation and can't stand on their own two feet they need someone to hold them up and reassure them of their worth. They can't fight their own battles they need someone to fight for them because pressure is something they can't handle. Emotionally crippled (high maintenanced) women are very needy, clingy, weak and has a much higher dependency on others. They are constantly afraid and need their white night in shiny armor..Wake up girls it has 'been' a new day.Karen,
Please forgive me for not responding sooner. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I agree with your last statement even more: "Wake up girls it has 'been' a new day." And Karen, it has been for quite some years! Thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment. Take special care!On the nose, Karen. I realized that I was ridiculously high maintenance some time ago. The minute a man changes his tone is the minute I head for the hills. I may not require copious amounts of material things but I am horribly clingy and I need to be reassured every single day. I have no belief in myself whatsoever and it just wears a man down like you wouldn't believe. I finally get it when someone tells me you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. How to go about fixing my emotional issues is beyond me. I've been trying everything but all the feelings of inadequacy just linger like a bad cloud.
Some advice to men: read a few articles on the web about high maintenance women and then.... run as fast as you can. They are not worth the trouble.Anon, thanks for reading and responding. Women should also take your advice. A man or woman of substance tend to keep their loved ones from trouble and are so worth the relationship. I remind you, low maintenance can also create a problem. Soap and water should be used, as should a toothbrush, toothpaste, dental checkups etc. etc. etc. *grin*
I understand being high maintenance is looked as a bad attribute... but in a way can't it be seen as a compliment. Being high maintence generally means that it will take a lot to impress the girl. In a way isn't that a good thing to a girl. It means the guy should try and impress her by taking her out to a nice restaurant and not a highway diner. And just because a girl likes to look and take her time to look good, doesn't mean she's high maintenace. To me looking good, builds up my confidence as to alot of women, I'm assuming...It has nothing to do with being high maintenace.Danika, thank you for reading and commenting on this article. I do not think "high maintenance" is a bad thing if a girl's attitude isn't bad. If a girl forces a guy to "impress her" when he clearly cannot afford to do so, he should dump her and move on to someone else.
I think it's important for a guy and a girl to take care of themselves and maintain a good attitude while doing so. I think they should spoil each other within their means and not beyond.